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Lane
06-13-2011, 08:56 PM
Hello to all..I couldn`t find a place to say that, so I`ll say it here.
I just started these lyrics so any thoughts are welcome.

part of the story behind this:
one of girls that cleans apts and paints for me.
she came over crying her eyes out.
she`s very pretty, I sat her down, talked, she lost a boyfriend.
I told her it was just a temp" true love...she`d find the right one. she got to feeling better, we finished our coffee and she dried her eyes..and asked "how do I look" I said beautiful! she said ya..right..beautiful wreck!


Beautiful Wreck

verse:
I danced
knowing I would get hurt
I gave-in, even though... I`d get burned.

chorus:
along came a heartache, and sat down beside me..
and He made Me a beautiful wreck.
along came a heartache, in my condition
I`m not over it yet.

chalk it up to a temporary true love....
thats got me out on this limb..
along came a heartache, a desperate, situation,
and I.. can`t get Him out of my head.

bridge:

love can be a tragedy
when it falls apart..
letting go and it breaks your heart ...
I know.


verse:
pardon me
if I don`t sit down..
its the memory, and I remember when....

chorus:
along came a heartache, and sat down beside me..
and He made Me a beautiful wreck.
along came a heartache, in my condition
I`m not over it yet.

chalk it up to a temporary true love....
thats got me out on this limb..
along came a heartache, a desperate, situation,
and I.. can`t get Him out of my head.

"along came a heartache, and sat down beside me..
I`m a beautiful wreck...I`m a beautiful wreck...


Copyright 2011 Second-hand Hearts Vincent

Gary W
06-16-2011, 02:35 PM
Hi Lane,
Other than a few spelling typos the words look fine to me. Keep in mind that I am not a song writer and I really need to hear music with the lyrics.
Just for your awareness, there is a song with the same title... done by Shawn Mullins.

I really like the story behind your song.

Lane
06-16-2011, 08:55 PM
hi Gary...sorry about the typo`s..lol
I did not know there was another song out there with that name, just went and listened to it and its very good. I`ll have a track of this song this weekend, its just a start on the music so it won`t be much. I will put it up so you can have listen and comment. good or bad.. I`d like that.
I changed the ending of this song so I`ll re-post the lyrics and fix" the errors. thanks again. Lane

lyricman
12-21-2011, 05:10 PM
I like the premise/story behind the words, but the structure of the verses is kinda whack. And the ryhme could be better. A little work and imagination and you've got a great song I think.

Lyricman Out!!!!!

Lane
03-06-2012, 05:13 PM
thank you lyricman for taking time to comment, it is a work in progress. i`ve had another comment it could use a little more story in it too.