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Thread: Beautiful Wreck

  1. #1
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    Beautiful Wreck

    Hello to all..I couldn`t find a place to say that, so I`ll say it here.
    I just started these lyrics so any thoughts are welcome.

    part of the story behind this:
    one of girls that cleans apts and paints for me.
    she came over crying her eyes out.
    she`s very pretty, I sat her down, talked, she lost a boyfriend.
    I told her it was just a temp" true love...she`d find the right one. she got to feeling better, we finished our coffee and she dried her eyes..and asked "how do I look" I said beautiful! she said ya..right..beautiful wreck!


    Beautiful Wreck

    verse:
    I danced
    knowing I would get hurt
    I gave-in, even though... I`d get burned.

    chorus:
    along came a heartache, and sat down beside me..
    and He made Me a beautiful wreck.
    along came a heartache, in my condition
    I`m not over it yet.

    chalk it up to a temporary true love....
    thats got me out on this limb..
    along came a heartache, a desperate, situation,
    and I.. can`t get Him out of my head.

    bridge:

    love can be a tragedy
    when it falls apart..
    letting go and it breaks your heart ...
    I know.


    verse:
    pardon me
    if I don`t sit down..
    its the memory, and I remember when....

    chorus:
    along came a heartache, and sat down beside me..
    and He made Me a beautiful wreck.
    along came a heartache, in my condition
    I`m not over it yet.

    chalk it up to a temporary true love....
    thats got me out on this limb..
    along came a heartache, a desperate, situation,
    and I.. can`t get Him out of my head.

    "along came a heartache, and sat down beside me..
    I`m a beautiful wreck...I`m a beautiful wreck...


    Copyright 2011 Second-hand Hearts Vincent
    Last edited by Lane; 06-16-2011 at 08:09 PM.
    "question my abilities..never my heart"

  2. #2
    FORUM MODERATOR Gary W's Avatar
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    Hi Lane,
    Other than a few spelling typos the words look fine to me. Keep in mind that I am not a song writer and I really need to hear music with the lyrics.
    Just for your awareness, there is a song with the same title... done by Shawn Mullins.

    I really like the story behind your song.
    FORUM MODERATOR

  3. #3
    Junior Member
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    hi Gary...sorry about the typo`s..lol
    I did not know there was another song out there with that name, just went and listened to it and its very good. I`ll have a track of this song this weekend, its just a start on the music so it won`t be much. I will put it up so you can have listen and comment. good or bad.. I`d like that.
    I changed the ending of this song so I`ll re-post the lyrics and fix" the errors. thanks again. Lane
    "question my abilities..never my heart"

  4. #4
    I like the premise/story behind the words, but the structure of the verses is kinda whack. And the ryhme could be better. A little work and imagination and you've got a great song I think.

    Lyricman Out!!!!!

  5. #5
    Junior Member
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    thank you lyricman for taking time to comment, it is a work in progress. i`ve had another comment it could use a little more story in it too.
    "question my abilities..never my heart"

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